A couple of Sundays later, just as I had started to forget my snarky friend’s comment, I had the opportunity to see Peter Rollins (Google him. Now.) speak at a local church. I can’t begin to explain everything that he spoke about—suffice it to say my mind was overwhelmed—but the thing that struck my heart was this: deus ex machina.
Ray and I had a date the other day—a rare occurrence lately. He asked, “If you could learn any skill, what would it be?” I mentioned a couple of things that I’ve always wanted to learn to do better, but..
Hoping to make sense of this home (of 32 years) that I couldn’t really call home, I took my camera and went out for a final sunset drive in an attempt to say my goodbyes to all my favorite places. But I had not expected what I was about to encounter.
If anyone had told me, as I boarded the plane from Abu Dhabi to Miami, that this was going to be a year of silence, of waiting for progress, of internal struggle with oh-so-little tangible payoff, I would have been furious. I didn’t come back to the States to sit around. I have goals and aspirations, damnit.
The past two weeks have been heavy. The specifics are too numerous, nuanced, and those involved—my family—are still working them out, so I won’t explain in detail now. Suffice it to say, after many years and through a difficult series of events, a long-lost family member has been found. We are overjoyed. But…
As you may have read in my last post, I’ve been struggling within myself, fighting to remember that love is freely given, not something to work hard for. Writing that post was difficult. Sharing it was even more so. But something compelled me.